Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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