discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
