When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
