I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just gift wrapped bread.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I didn't notice because vodka
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
