I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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