I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
