Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize