K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
