I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I checked into jail on foursquare
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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