You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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