Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
