My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
