you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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