Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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