have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the day after is always just damage control
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
