I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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