I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize