I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
