Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
