Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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