with your own penis?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
