Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize