Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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