I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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