I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize