I think im going to throw up on grandma
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
