saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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