No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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