So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
