You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
