My nipple is on Facebook.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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