chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
