drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize