If i come over, it means nothing
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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