am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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