A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
