It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
