only you would photoshop your dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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