Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize