I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
