His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
