Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
