Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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