I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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