The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
