I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize