I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it was like having sex with a tree stump
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
