its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
