Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I didn't notice because vodka
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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