but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
