i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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