she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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