I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize