Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
