yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize