Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
