i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
