Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
