she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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