2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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