Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize