What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
