well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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