Will you blow on my dice?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
