I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
