I wish I could punch you in the face.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
