did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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