So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
