I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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