WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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