what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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